The Five Stages of First Publication

by Alana Garrigues and Nutschell Anne Windsor

Hello Lynda fans! Nutschell and I are so happy to be here today, on our third from final stop on our month-long Story Sprouts blog tour! We've had so much fun visiting with everyone from around the blogosphere!

Story Sprouts is a mixture of writing resource and anthology, with 38 stories and poems created during a six-hour writing day workshop last June. Some of our authors have been published before, in a variety of media, while for many this is the first time seeing their name in print. As an organization (Children's Book Writers of Los Angeles) dedicated to educating and inspiring writers on their road to publication, we are so proud of all of our authors, but especially excited for our first timers! First publication is a wonderful feeling and ego-boost for writers!

So, we've decided, in jest, to identify the five stages of first publication. Perhaps you can identify?

1 - ELATION: Your name is in print. Your name is in print! OMG, YOUR NAME IS IN PRINT! Pure, uninhibited, jump-up-and-kick-your-heels together joy - your name is in print.

2 - DOUBT: Your name is in print. With a story. Wait, what did the story say? What will your friends think? Did you put your best foot forward? Wasn't there a mistake on the 10th page, in the 3rd paragraph, in the 4th sentence? What will people think about your brain and how it works and what that story says about your sanity? Oh, this could be bad ….

3 - RELIEF: Your editor caught that mistake on the 10th page, in the 3rd paragraph, in the 4th sentence. Phew. And another 200 mini mistakes you and your word processor and your revisions didn't even notice - commas and misspelled words. Nice. Saved from the wrath of the grammar police.

4 - FRUSTRATION: But wait, your editor also changed something that you said that was brilliant on the 64th page. Why did they change that? You spent days perfecting that metaphor. How could they change it? Isn't that your name on the cover? And what about these other 10 spots that were tweaked unnecessarily. How could that be?

5 - RESOLVE AND SATISFACTION: Your name is in print. Your neighbor and hairdresser and high school english teacher have all expressed their positive opinions (even if it did take months to get it into their hands!). The story is good. You don't have to hide under a rock with doubt or kick your editor to the curb. You created something, and people like it. It is something to be proud of. And you're ready to tackle that next story with resolve, intent on giving your editor even less work on the next round, and your reader even more to fall in love with.

So, what do you think? Feel familiar? What did we miss?

Learn more about Story Sprouts at http://www.storysproutsanthology.com/
Join the Children’s Book Writers of Los Angeles at www.cbw-la.org
To buy Story Sprouts: Amazon

To find Alana:  Website, Blog, Facebook, Twitter
To find Nutschell: Blog, Twitter, Linked-In, Pinterest

10 Questions to Avoid Asking a Writer #IWSG

I'm back from my break at last, feeling refreshed and eager to get on with my exciting (and busy) plans for the year. Consequently, I thought I'd start the New Year with a lighthearted post for the Insecure Writer'sSupport Group. To learn more about the group, check out our resource-filled website,  or to join us, click HERE.

Many of the questions below are sure to trigger a mountain of insecurities in writers, or worse, trigger the beast within us. My advice is to avoid these questions at all cost.

1. Why haven't you finished writing that novel yet?
2. Can I be in your book?
3. Why aren't you published yet?
4. Have you thought of a different career path?
5. Why don't you publish that first story you ever wrote?
6. How good is it doing nothing all day?
7. Can I tell you my great story idea?
8. How much money do you make?
9. Do people even read these days?
10. When are you going to get a real job?

And the bonus question:

11. Can I interrupt you for a second?

If you've been asked any of these questions, what's been your reaction? What are some other questions you'd like avoided?

The IWSG Facebook group has started 'News & Promo Saturday' when all members are encouraged to post one promotion about their book or share some great news with the group. 

Photo: I got a new camera with an awesome macro for Christmas. You should've seen me in the hardware store taking photos of all the bits n pieces. Amok, amok, amok!

8 Benefits of Writing

I’m in the middle of the fun craziness that is NaNoWriMo at the moment. A little behind, but nothing so bad that I’m freaking out. Consequently, I bring to you today a short fun post to show some benefits to writing. Oh, and I took this photo because writing is as sweet as a strawberry.

1. Writing keeps me sane. Although some days, it doesn’t seem that way. I’m so thankful I have an outlet for storytelling otherwise my brain might implode from the pressure.

2. Writing keeps our loved ones sane. Writing makes a writer happy. If a writer isn’t happy, then the rest of her family suffers.

3. Writing helps me meet a wide variety of people I wouldn’t normally meet. I wouldn’t have met all my wonderful blogging buddies or all my other writing buddies if I wasn’t a writer.

4. Writing opens up my world of experiences. I’m not a naturally adventurous person. If I were left to my own devices, I’d be happy to stay within my close group of friends and not venture out. Writing forces me to be adventurous, to try new things, and meet new people.

5. I can create worlds and destroy them just as fast, if not quicker. A little destruction is good for the soul.

6. Writing clarifies my mind. As a writer, I have to train my thought processes so I’m able to pinpoint exactly what I want to say.

7. Writing increases my vocabulary. I may not bother if I wasn’t a writer or reader.

8. Writing gives me the courage and confidence to express myself.

What are some other benefits to writing you’ve experienced? How are your November projects coming along?

Top Ten Ways NOT to Make Dinner

Today's fun post (including pictures) is brought to you by Crystal Collier. Also, a quick reminder that the Realms Faire, hosted by M Pax has started and will run from November 11-15. 

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Top Ten Ways NOT to Make Dinner

10

Yeah, bird watching.

9

8

Image courtesy of Scott Huber

7

Tell me you haven't wasted an hour on one of these:

6

Image courtesy of Greg Verdino

5

Oh Lolcatz...

4

Youtube. 'Nuf said.

3

Tell me you don't play this.

2

1

Too busy eating cheese.

Crystal Collier, author of MOONLESS, is a former composer/writer for Black Diamond Productions. She can be found practicing her brother-induced ninja skills while teaching children or madly typing about fantastic and impossible creatures. She has lived from coast to coast and now calls Florida home with her creative husband, three littles, and “friend” (a.k.a. the zombie locked in her closet). Secretly, she dreams of world domination and a bottomless supply of cheese. 


You can find her on her blog and Facebook, or follow her on Twitter.

Buy MOONLESS HERE or add it on Goodreads.

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Writer's Survival Guide #IWSG

Because our best work happens when we're at our most vulnerable, it could be argued that writing is one of the most hazardous professions in the world. It's up there with bomb disposal, only we don't get a shield to stand behind. It's almost as bad as being a clown at a kid's birthday party, only we don't have a mask to hide behind. It's equal to being a guard in an insane asylum, only there are no bars holding the insanity back.

Since writing is not unlike surviving a zombie apocalypse, I've compiled a short list of rules on how best to cope with being a writer:

Rule #1: Cardio
When we're in the zone, or worse, trying to be in the zone, we sit around staring at our computer screens, our blank pages, the fuzz on the carpet. Our brains quickly turn to mush before we've even typed 'Chapter 1'. We need to get the blood flowing, the creativity sparking. The sparks of inspiration come from memory and daydream, but we can't access those resources if we're slumped and sluggish. If you can't bear the thought of those nasty star jumps—who invented that torture, anyway?—then go for a walk, ride a bike, use your gym membership that's been choking under a layer of dust.

Rule #2: Safety in Numbers
Not only is writing a sedentary occupation, it's also a solitary one. It can get mighty lonely as a writer—no office chit chat by the water cooler for us. The problem with being alone for so many hours is that we start to get a distorted view of our work. We'll either think it's awesome when it's not, or we'll think it's the worst piece of gelatinous sludge on a pile of stinking refuse when really it's awesome. We need to hang out with not just a group, but a crowd of supportive people. Friends and family keep us sane. Other writers keep us writing. Critique partners push us to do better. Editors keep our feet firmly planted on the ground. Publishers make our dreams come true.

Rule #3: Knowledge is Your Weapon
To charge onto the battleground unarmed is folly at best. The more you learn about the craft, the industry, and all things writing, the better equipped you'll become. Read copious amounts, in a range of genres. Read fiction and non-fiction. Read books on writing. Go to seminars. Attend conferences. Learn, learn and keep learning, and all the while keep writing. Take up arms and charge forth with strength and courage.

Rule #4: Enjoy the Little Things
As with a zombie apocalypse, you'll need to maintain your sanity by staying positive. Remember why you started writing in the first place. Was it to silence the voices, explore a concept, indulge in a little escapism? Or perhaps it was simply the love of stories and words. Remembering our reasons for embarking on this crazy journey will buoy us up so we're able to float down the river of insanity without getting wet.

Are you are survivor? Can you add any more rules to this list?

This post was written for the Insecure Writers’ Support Group founded by Alex J Cavanaugh and this month it's co-hosted by Rachna Chhabria, Mark Koopmans, and Lynda R Young (yours truly)!! To learn more or join up, click here.

#IWSG

The Top 10 Query Letter Tips for Cretins

Today Chris Andrews is visiting with a fun post. I met Chris, a fellow Aussie writer, at GenreCon2012 and immediately liked his humour and energy. Take it away, Chris!

1: The curiosity factor
The key to a good query letter is intrigue, so withhold the title, genre, word count, and even the reason why anyone would want to read it. In fact, send it to them from an anonymous email account with absolutely no contact details at all. To really pique their curiosity, include a video of your best friend doing karaoke.

2: Have fun!
Drop subtle hints about your story, like: 'Did you notice the attached computer virus?' or 'When was the last time you checked your car's brakes?' You can further stand out from the email in-box with the imaginative use of fonts – the more the better. If the agent or publisher specialises in mysteries, go with Wingdings or white text on a white background.

3: Guidelines are for losers
Would a successful author follow guidelines? Of course not, so give them what they need instead: your life story, a full breakdown of all your hopes and dreams, copies of everything you've written since kindergarten, and your acceptance speeches for all the literary prizes you'll win. If you've got a photo of a cute pet, send that too (it can't hurt).

4: Your time is valuable
So pitch the idea before you've even written the book. If that fails (unlikely), bombard them with any ideas you can think of, making sure you cover additional concepts for the sequels, spinoffs, webisodes, interactive games, and cruise-ship stage plays. Additionally, compile a list of all your ideas and send them to every agent with an email address (at once - so it's obvious they have competition). Save more time by sending it out without proofreading.

5: Their time is valuable too
Sometimes you need to pander to their needs, so skip all the introductory stuff and get on-side immediately by doing your research. Mention their home address, their partners/parents/children's names, their favourite holiday destination (show up and say 'Hi'), and visit their house while they're out to get to know their pets and friends. If that doesn't grab their attention, nothing says 'I really want to be a published author' like delivering a life-sized painting of their mother-in-law to their office.

6: Demand your price
Don't settle for anything less than a million-dollar advance. In fact, demand it before letting them see your manuscript. You're the best of the best, the top one per cent, and with a decent advance you'll even hand it over. They'll be sorry if they turn you down – tell them that too.

7: Bragging rights
You're a brilliant writer, so let them know you've seen the future and you'll sell 25 million copies. Further demonstrate your awesomeness by attaching the cover art you did yourself – every version. Include details about why Oprah will love your book, and your plans to write, direct and star in the inevitable movie. Oscars are assumed.

8: Hand deliver it for that personal touch
Everyone loves attention, particularly book people. For maximum impact arrive via helicopter and stroll into the office made up like a zombie (zombies are hot!). Insist on handing your query directly to your preferred agent or editor, but make sure you 'forget' to erase those naked photos of yourself from the USB (everyone deserves a treat).

9: Go retro
In the 'olden days' they wrote letters on dead trees, so grab your chainsaw and make a nice cross section of your neighbour's favourite hardwood. If the postage is too high, try handwriting with fluorescent ink on coloured paper. For added effect sprinkle glitter in the envelope and spray it with perfume. Bonus points will be awarded if you include a chocolate frog (everyone loves chocolate), but be considerate and unwrap it first.

10: The next big thing is…
You! Because you are, right? Be persuasive! Tell them your mother/friends/teachers loved your manuscript, boast about the decades you’ve spent writing it (as this clearly gives it depth), and explain how your story thinly disguises your incredibly interesting life. It won't hurt to add a list of your rejections too (just to prove how proactive you are). Finally, mention how being a published author is your life-long dream – that always softens them up.

Chris Andrews began his writing career when he boldly and ignorantly announced he could write a better novel than the one he’d just read. While he’s no longer ignorant about the challenges of writing novels, the dream remains. Find him on twitter: @ChrisAndrewsAU or at his website: http://fandelyon.com/. 


If you liked the Top Ten Query Letter Tips for Cretins, you might also like The Cretin's Top Ten Ways to Successfully Pitch to an Agent or Editor. 

Have you done--or wanted to do--any of these tips? Can you think of any more query letter tips for cretins?

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8 Benefits of Writing Short Stories

The lovely Theresa Milstein has kindly offered to be a part of my Make Believe Anthology Tour. I didn't even have to twist her arm (which is good because my brother tells me I twist like a girl). I will be talking about 8 Benefits of Writing Short Stories. Yes, there are benefits! I'd love to see you over there. Click HERE!

I am also over with Terri Rochenski at Scribbler's Sojourn being interviewed! Yikes!! I'm in two places at once! I must be a super hero (or just a crazy person on roller skates which seems more likely). I'd love to see you over there!! Click HERE!

If you have time and want a little chuckle, Chris Andrews, an Aussie writer I met at GenreCon 2012, has written up a hilarious post: Successfully Pitching to an Agent or Editor – The Cretin’s Guide

The Care and Feeding of Writers

If you are cursed blessed with having a close relationship with a writer, then there are some simple rules you might need to know to make life easier and more peaceful:

1. Don't mess with inspiration. If a writer suddenly cuts you off mid-conversation to scrawl down an idea, don't say a word. If he or she should forget a dinner date, then don't take it personally. Inspiration can hit at any moment, and usually at the most inconvenient moments. Let it happen, don't interrupt, or you might have to face something far worse—a writer with no inspiration.

2. Learn to use correct grammar, or expect to get corrected. Nothing is safe. Your writer will correct grammar on signage, in magazines, at the movies, etc. There's no sense getting upset about it. If you really want to make a difference to your writer's life, then don't ignore grammar, learn it.

3. Don't look for the off switch, because there isn't one. Writing is a 24 hour job. A writer is always thinking, processing and gathering every experience for future scenes or stories. Note: If you don't want your favourite show completely analysed to death, then wait to watch it when your writer is away.

4. Be a rock not a critic. Tell your writer on a daily basis that their work is worthy and they aren't crazy to pursue a writing career. Let them write. Let them read. Don't try to be their critique partner unless you want to summon The Monster (the less spoken about The Monster, the better). Instead, encourage your writer to find critique partners who are also writers.

5. Don't bother with to-do lists. If the lists have nothing to do with writing, then your writer will ignore them anyway. The cleaning may not always be perfect, the weeds might take over the garden, and food may not be eaten at regular hours, but a happy writer means a happy household.

6. Every writer needs a break. When your writer starts showing signs of cracking—mood swings, a deep sense of complete failure, staring for hours at an empty screen—whisk them away and give them new experiences to feed from. A day spa should do the trick, or dinner at a favourite restaurant, or a cruise. We aren't fussy.

Do you have any other suggestions to add to this survival guide?

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9 Tips for Writing Comedy

During a writers' festival last year, I heard Oliver Phommavanh, author of two children's novels, speak about how to write comedy. Below are some of his quick tips:

1. Be yourself. The closer to that, the funnier you'll be. So you'll need to inject your personality into your writing.

2. Think of your audience. Ask yourself, what is relevant to your audience, what would they respond to? What might be funny to one group of people may not be as funny to another.

3. Use universal targets. While still thinking of your audience, broaden the appeal by choosing comedy targets that most people will be able to relate to. For example: family, relationships, authority figures.

4. Avoid offense. Comedy is most effective if it gives the audience permission to laugh. If you are comfortable about making fun of yourself, or the character you are writing about is comfortable about making fun of him or herself, then the reader is also.

5. Use sympathy. The readers should feel a certain amount of sympathy for the characters. However, along the same lines as the previous point, there is a fine line where the reader sympathises with the characters, but doesn't feel bad for laughing at them.

6. Base comedy in realism. There needs to be truth in comedy. For example, start with something real and then do the unexpected.

7. Exaggerate the truth. Start with the truth and then exaggerate it. For example, "It was this big…" or "My mum's so cheap that she'd drive across town to save twenty cents."

8. Heighten conflict. The more conflict there is in a story, the more opportunity for an amusing situation. For example, if a character hates long queues, then put them into that situation. The more the character cares, the more likely he'll do something crazy to get out of the situation.

9. Be aware of timing. When writing a joke, make sure the last thing you write is the funniest. Putting the punchline in the middle waters it down.

What are some of the funniest situations you've written or read in a story? Who are your favourite writers who include humour in their work?

Oliver has a new book called Punchlines coming out on March 21st. It's about stand up comedy. Check it out here.

5 Reasons to Use Humour in Writing

Humour is an often underestimated tool in writing. While it may not always be easy to write, I believe it’s worth the effort. Below I’ve listed why:

1. To connect with the reader. We all respond to humour. We connect with humour. Because of that humour is universal. It’s essential for the writer to make that connection with the reader.

1. To lighten the mood. I recently read a dirge of a book that I struggled to get through because it was so intense and depressing throughout. Yes, we need conflict in our stories, but when the conflict becomes overpowering, we can tire our readers and make them pull away. The book would have benefitted from a sprinkling of humour to lighten the mood.

2. To create contrast. Likewise, a high tension scene could be intensified by a humorous scene before it because of the contrast you’ve created.

3. Character likeability. If you want your readers to like your main characters, then give them a sense of humour. A fantastic example of this would be Hannibal Lector. The readers find themselves drawn to this psychopathic killer against their better judgement, because he has a wicked sense of humour.

4. Character dislikeability. Likewise, if we don’t want our readers to like a character then we strip them of a sense of humour.

5. For success. People remember good humour. They will want more of it and so they will seek more of that writer’s work. They will be more likely to tell others about your work as well. Many believe that Shakespeare’s plays were so successful because of the humour in them—even the tragic plays.

Do you feel comfortable with writing humour into your stories, or do you tend to shy away from it? What do you think is most difficult about writing humour?