6 Signs of Description Misuse

There are many ways to use and abuse description in fiction. There are the obvious ways of simply over doing it, and the less obvious ways. Below I've listed the six signs to keep a look out for. (Please note today's inspiration came from the comments from my previous post regarding character description, particularly those from Carol, Deniz, Tyrean and L'Aussie.)

1. The Shopping Lists. I recently read a novel where every time a new character stepped onto the scene the author would tell the reader every physical attribute of the character in a way that made me think they were checking it off a list: character height, weight, eye colour, hair colour, etc. The reader doesn't have to know every single detail about a character all at once.

2. If the Action Stops. This is the kind of description that stops the flow of the story for the sake of letting the reader know the details of the setting, the characters, or anything else that's not currently relevant. It will grind the pace to a halt, diffuse the tension, and pull the reader from the story.

3. The Tell. This kind of description doesn't show the reader the place, the atmosphere, the characters. It tells them: The forest was spooky. I'd rather the author shows me what the forest was like and I'll decide for myself whether or not it's spooky.

4. The Wall. This is also known as the info dump. It's seen as a wall of text full of nothing but description. It might be acceptable in the classics, but times have changed. It's better to break it up and pepper it through the prose.

5. The Clichés and the Stereotypes. Descriptions are a great opportunity for the writer to get creative. It's tempting to fall back on clichés for the sake of moving along in the story. This is fine for the first draft only. My first drafts are rife with them because I need to keep writing as fast as possible or I'll get snagged on a distraction. However, I'll always go back, hunt them down and dress them up into something more original--or, I try.

6. The Lack of Relevance. One of the many comments made in my previous post was the dislike for countless descriptions of what the characters are wearing. This is because it most often lacks relevance to the story. Descriptions should only be included if they reveal something of importance about a character, adds atmosphere, advances the plot etc. If it's just there because the words are purdy, then it needs to go.

Which of these sins are you guilty of? Which do you least like to see in a novel? Can you think of any others?

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Award: Thanks to Coral Riggs and mshatch for the Great Comments Award. You guys rock!

Announcement: Next week on the 26th January, it's Australia Day and since I'm an Aussie, I'd love to celebrate the date with a virtual BBQ. Thanks to Karen Gowen for the idea. Her BBQs have been wonderfully successful. The idea is to visit my blog on the 26th, bring a virtual plate of food to share, then in the comments tell everyone about yourself and your blog, and come back and visit three other people who have left a comment. Please spread the word!

How to Write the Ultimate Man

While people-watching by the seaside one summer, I bantered with a good friend over what we thought made up the ultimate man. To my surprise, the physical attribute that attracted her most wasn't a man's eyes, his butt, or his muscles. Instead she confessed she adored his hair: hair on his chest, face, arms, back, and shoulders. The more hair the better. I shuddered at the thought and when I told her so our conversation degenerated into amusing name-calling. (I never said I was mature).

My point is that hair does not make the man and neither does his height, the colour of his eyes, nor his bulging muscles. It's not the physical appearance of someone that attracts for longer than a few seconds, it's his or her thoughts and actions that give the lasting impression. This is also true in books.

If I used description to define my characters then I run a powerful risk of not only alienating my readers--what one person likes, another may not--but I also risk underestimating my readers and turning my characters into shallow nothings.

I'm not saying don't describe your characters at all--if you try to please everyone you'll end up pleasing no one. I'm saying be careful not to put too much emphasis on their appearances. The ultimate man can only be defined by the decisions he makes and the actions he takes.

In books you've read what physical attributes in the characters attract you? Have you been turned off a book because the character descriptions have been too much?

Substance vs Bling in Story Writing

Recently, my hubby upgraded his phone to the latest snazzy model. I have no idea what it is except it has a whole bunch of new features. He loves his technology. I struggle to get excited by it. If the old one works, why upgrade it? (I know, I’m such a luddite).

However, my hubby has convinced me to take his old phone: an iphone 3G. The most exciting thing about this upgrade? I get to take off his boring black cover and replace it with a shiny new one with bling. The more dazzling, the better. The curious thing is, it wasn’t until he started telling me about all the features that I started to love this hand-me-down.

My point? While bling on phones, in my opinion, is a good thing, the real appreciation won’t emerge until we discover a greater function. The same goes with writing. Sometimes I can get lost in the fancy descriptions and the amazing settings. I’ll make the wording pretty for the sake of pretty. This isn’t a good thing. Without substance, the shinies of our stories can drag the pace down. They can change the focus from where we want it to be.

Every word, sentence, paragraph needs a purpose in our stories, whether to add atmosphere, set a scene, reveal something about a character—and it’s even better when it has more than one purpose. If a description or dialogue is included for the sake of it, it has to go.

Do you struggle with removing the shinies? What are the kind of features that distract you from a story when you are reading or watching a movie?

The Magic of Interpretation

During the Writers’ Festival recently I attended a session about picture books. I have no desire to write my own picture book at this stage, but I found the session interesting because of my artistic background.

I didn’t realise most authors don’t get to meet the illustrators of their books until the book launch. They don’t even discuss the book together one on one. Publishers will actively keep them apart because invariably what happens if they do get together is the illustrator will suggest the author change their text and the author will tell the illustrator to change their art.

Publishers don’t want them influencing each other because there is magic in the interpretation. The illustrator will gain so much more from the writer’s text than even the writer.

Likewise, everyone who reads our work will have their own interpretation of it. As writers we need to give our readers room to imagine. We don’t have to lay down every minute detail. We need to create mood and atmosphere, but the real magic happens in the reader’s mind.

What's been your experience of this phenomenon (picture books, movie adaptations, cover art etc)?

How to Immerse the Reader

I always say a great story is the most important element of a novel. We can have a great concept, a great structure and great characters, but if we stop there, our stories will lack magic. The readers want to become engrossed in the story. They want to be immersed and live the story experience in their minds. They need to see it, hear it, smell it and more.

The sensory details will bring our stories alive. They can capture mood and atmosphere. They can reflect emotion and tension. They can enhance the feeling of conflict. They can add that extra dimension.

To get it right we need to become observers of life. We need to practise awareness and take note of everything around us – especially of the little things. To write a scene well, we need to see it--not as actors on a stage, but characters in a real, living, breathing setting.

To bring authenticity into our stories we also need to write in specifics, not generalisations. If you want a car going by, what kind of car is it? If you want birds chirping, what kind of birds are they?

We all lead busy lives, so how do you practise awareness? Why do you think you find writing descriptions easy or difficult?

Detailing Description

When we create worlds, lives, and events, we want to share with the reader details of our settings, characters, and action. We want our readers to sink themselves into our stories and ‘see’ for themselves. At the same time, we don’t want to drown them in endless specific detail.

The trick is finding the right balance of detail so we engage our readers rather than bore them. We need to include details that say something about our characters, details that include sensory cues such as sound, smell, taste, touch as well as sight.

Find the distinct details—the details that add atmosphere, tone, voice. The rest the reader can fill in.

What are some details you like to include in your descriptions?

Note: This post is part of the A-Z Challenge. I will be posting Monday-Saturday during April corresponding to the letters of the alphabet.

Making Sense in Description

I went to Spain a few years ago and wandered the streets of Barcelona. Ancient buildings crowded the warren of cobbled alleyways. I could hear someone playing a flamenco guitar in the distance. Lilting notes drifted through the space and seemed to dance with the wafts of freshly baked bread. I felt like I’d walked into a living, breathing slice of history.

I took copious photos but none caught the essence of Barcelona. Photos couldn’t record the sounds, or capture the shifting light. They couldn’t preserve the distinct smells or share the feelings I experienced.

This is because photos are blind to all the senses except sight.

If we only describe a place by what it looks like, then our writing will end up being as boring as having to spend hours watching someone else’s holiday snaps. We’re only able to transport our readers when we allow them to feel the place, to taste it, smell it, hear it. It’s through these senses that they can step in and live the experience with you.

Remember this when writing description, and you’ll become a Master Guide into the worlds you create.

What is it about your favourite holiday destination that you remember the most? What are the things that trigger those memories?


*I couldn't find my old photos of Barcelona so this photo is one I took in Macau, China. It's part of the Portuguese quarter so it looks surprisingly similar.

In the Details

There is magic in the details of writing. Like the lens of a camera, detail can be used to help the reader focus on your story. The trick is to learn the quantity of detail to include.

Too much detail and all we offer is mess and chaos. The reader finds herself sifting through wads of pointless description and grows bored. Too little detail and all the reader gains is a vague blur.

The reader is a skilled traveller. Even though you take them on a journey, they can fill in many of the gaps. They can create the places, furnish the spaces, but they also want a guide’s hand through your world. They want the highlights pointed out. They want to be able to touch your vision and experience it as if it were their own.

They want to smell the burning toast, but most importantly, they want to feel. They want to care. Their emotions are directed through focussing your writer’s lens in all the right places.

How do you find the right balance of detail in your stories? How do you know if you’ve written enough detail or too much?