Wednesday, February 6, 2013

4 Reasons Not to Compare Yourself with Other Writers

Being the gooses that we are, one mistake we writers will inevitably make is to compare our work and our progress toward success with that of other writers. It usually starts out innocent enough, with a genuine interest in improving our writing. We'll look into how other writers have succeeded. We'll read their work and learn how they use language. Learning is good, right? But then the cracks begin to show.

You know the signs: you'll read a book that's so great you'll think you'll never be able to write something as good. Or you'll secretly grumble because someone published the very first book they'd ever written and you're slaving on book seven with no signs of a contract.

And so the spiral into a morass of negative thoughts begins. The threat of giving up becomes all too real and the very thing that started as a way towards helping your writing becomes the thing that harms it. Below are my reasons why it doesn't need to get that far:

1. The volume of work is hidden. As writers, we sagely claim no one can understand the amount of work that goes into writing a novel. Certainly, none of our friends or relatives could possibly have an inkling. I'm sure most of my friends think I spend all day goofing off or staring into space. Only other writers get that it's not just about writing a story; there's all the rewrites, the edits, the countless scenes that had to be written, polished, then tossed. So why do we forget that when it comes to comparing our work with that treasure we found in the bookstore? Like crows to a shiny, all we see is the finished work and marvel at its glory. Common sense? Pish posh! Leave that to the mathematicians.

2. The lone author is an illusion. Even though only the author's name is printed on the cover as the creator of a novel, no one produces a book on their own—not even self-published authors. There's a team of people behind every good book. The critique partners, the beta readers, the cheer squads, the editors, the publishers. So when you compare yourself with other writers, you're actually comparing yourself with a whole team of experienced professionals.

3. Overnight successes don’t happen. You want the manuscript you’re working on to be the one everyone falls in love with. You want a bestseller. You want recognition. You want the world when it comes to your writing. And you want it all now. If other authors have it all now, then why can’t you? Well, you can’t have it all now. Not even the authors falling into the 0.0001% category of those who earn millions from their writing got it all now. Overnight successes are a myth. Good writers need to be thrown into the fiery pit of big candy-floss dreams, claw our way up from wastelands of self-doubt and knock backs, and cling with tenacious hearts to the ugly rope of hard work until we drag ourselves free only to go through it all over again. And that takes time.

4. Everyone is unique. Trite, but true. While a lot can be learned from listening to other writers' processes and their journeys to publication, it's impractical and improbable that you’ll take exactly the same road. You’ll have a different background, different connections, a different approach, and a different voice. This doesn't mean different is bad. Different is simply, well, different. There’s not a whole lot you can do about it except suck it up and find what works for you.
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How does comparing yourself with other writers affect your work? How do you avoid it?

This post was written for Alex J Cavanaugh's Insecure Writers' Support Group. We post on the first Wednesday of every month. If you'd like to learn more, then click here.

#IWSG

52 comments:

Unknown said...
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Unknown said...

Great points, Lynda. Constantly comparing yourself to others and putting them on a pedestal will only make you more insecure as a writer.

Having people that you admire and aspire to be like is fine though, so long as you don't go down the road of "why can't I be like them? I suck compared to them!"

Jamie @ Mithril Wisdom

Unknown said...

Oh come on! I was planning on having an ovenight success story. Are you seriously going to tell me I can't have it now?

I'm taking my ball and going home then... ;-)

Unknown said...

Encouraging post. I was reminding myself this week that most *overnight* success stories often took ten years (or more) to get there.

Duncan D. Horne - the Kuantan blogger said...

A few years back I also dreamed of writing a novel and having it published, but after finding all of these very informative writing blogs through the A-Z challenge of 2011, I realised just how tough it is to be a successful author.
I've now decided to make my living on what I love doing more - teaching English. So I can read books and love each one for what it is without having to worry about competing with it for publicity or selling power!
But I think the whole idea of not comparing yourself with others is a valid point for life in general. I only compare myself to myself. If I'm doing better than I was doing 2 or 3 months ago, then I'm succeeding :)
Duncan In Kuantan

Charmaine Clancy said...

Yes there are many stories of overnight successes that take years. We all slug away at our own rate and we can only write through our own voice.

Denise Covey said...

Great post Lynda. Pointless to compare ourselves as our voice is unique...

Unknown said...

The longer I've slogged along on my own novels, the less I compare my success with other people's. There is so much that has to happen before a book ends up in a reader's hands that it is pointless to assume I can judge anything anymore.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I think that last reason is the one we need to remember most. We are all taking our own paths and with our own style. And most important, with our own goals. We'll never be like anyone else out there. And that's really a good thing.

Unknown said...

I learned many, many, many years ago that comparisons were unhealthy ways to gauge yourself. Nothing is as it appears, so that "overnight success" that you think the other writer accomplished probably took a good ten years! It's only now that you've heard of him (or her).

Very good post, Lynda.

Anonymous said...

It's a tight line to walk - having an idea of the road ahead can be helpful, but by the nature of it happening to someone else, a stranger, we can't see all the suffering, self-doubt, they went through.

Laura Pauling said...

This is so true! And something we have to constantly remind ourselves of!

Al Diaz said...

I agree with everything you said, just sometimes one might forget it. We should keep those posted somewhere we can see them daily. :)

DEZMOND said...

yes, we are all unique, and some are more special than others LOL

Rachna Chhabria said...

Lyn, I agree overnight success is a myth. And comparing ourselves with other writers can only make us miserable as everyone has their strengths and weaknesses.

Tyrean Martinson said...

So true! I love that image of the army of helpers, supporters and cheer leaders behind every book, along with the countless hours and that ugly rope of hard work. I've struggled with a bit of this from time to time, envious of the beauty of someone's prose . . . and then I get back to work, because I love writing and I'm doing my best to put some foundations under my dreams.

Melissa said...

LOL - Funny you should post this. I posted on the same topic. It is hard not to compare our books and our career paths with others.

Charity Bradford said...

Excellent points, each and every one. Once writer's understand these things they have a much better chance of becoming authors. Thanks for sharing!

Callie Leuck said...

#2 is the reason I adore those things some authors do, generally at the end I think, where they spend several pages listing everybody "without whom this book would not exist." It always includes significant others, experts in all sorts of obscure things, and of course the editing/publishing team. I'm always amused and encouraged by these.

anthony stemke said...

I loved reading this excellent post. You have to be true to yourself. When young Elvis Presley started to record, he was asked who he sang like and he replied "nobody else, just me". Trying to sound like (be or write like)another will only make one a good copier.
I get your message here and it is a good one - and not just for writers eh?

Luanne G. Smith said...

Comparing ourselves to other writers is so natural. And, yes, sometimes damaging. I think the thing that pains me most is what you wrote at the top. When I see someone get the first novel they ever wrote published after writing for six months, I get discouraged. I've been writing seriously for more than a dozen years trying to find that "right" novel. So, blah, I know it's not healthy to compare, but some days I can't help it. But it's also true we're all on our own path and I get that. :))

Patsy said...

Very true!

I can't help comparing myself with others but I try to do it in a positive way by learning from them rather than just feeling jealous.

Suze said...

I never compared my ability with another writer but I have often tortured myself walking through the aisle of published books because the route to publication, for me, has been difficult.

Loree Huebner said...

Great points, Lynda!

I think I used to compare myself, years ago when I was a new writer. I don't do it anymore. I've learned that we are all on a different mission, in a different lane of traffic. Some move faster than others.

Sheena-kay Graham said...

Sage advice Lynda. We each need to go our own way.

Anonymous said...

"Never let them teach you how to write." One of my favorite teachers told me that a long time ago. Thanks for bringing back some really great memories.

J.L. Campbell said...

Wonderful post, Lynda. It's hard not to want to succeed right now when there are other writers who seem to do so well all the time, but boy do I know that hard behind-the-scenes work goes into what looks like overnight success.

Carol Riggs said...

Definitely good not to compare ourselves to other writers...but we do it anyway. Sometimes it can spur us into harder work, though too much comparing can lead to discouragement. The path to publication can be long, and it's difficult to keep our heads up and keep dog-paddling. :) Good thing we have IWSG and the writing community for encouragement!

nutschell said...

great post, Lynda! I've learned never to compare myself with other writers (or other people in general). We each have our own unique journeys to publication .

Nutschell
www.thewritingnut.com

Anonymous said...

Thanks Lynda,
I needed to read this.I'm going through the "I'm not good enough.. I'll never been good enough" phase.. without remembering I have drafts, which is more than I had 3 years ago. I'm learning and I'm enjoying the trip.

Tonja said...

Great post.

Jessie Humphries said...

Comparing myself to other inevitably makes me feel negatively. It promotes jealousy, envy, sadness. Whereas when I put myself in the habit of feeling happiness for others at their successes, I feel hope for myself and abundant positivity.

Nancy Thompson said...

I couldn't help but do this early on, and I still do at times, especially when I'm down, but I know that nobody's path is exactly the same as any other. We have to find our own way. It's natural to experience envy for those we perceive as more successful, but we can never know how much time and effort they put into their work.

Aileen Stewart said...

Not comparing ourselves to other writers is not only a valid point, but something that should be practiced in every day life. People are unique, everyone has something to contribute, and everyone has some kind of a story to tell. It puts me in mind of the old classic "It's A Wonderful Life" where Jimmy Stewart's character gets a glimpse of how his life and choices impacted those around him.

As writers and as human beings, we don't always see the impact; but it's there none-the-less. Perhaps our writing has inspired someone to be a writer themselves; perhaps someone has gained self esteem, perspective on life, or felt a connection because of something we wrote; or perhaps they simply laughed, cried, or felt happy after reading our work. We will probably never know how many people we affect or how we have affected them and that's what makes judging success so difficult.

Success is about more then the number of copies sold, or the number of dollars earned. Success is far more personal. Success is reaching to the heavens to achieve our dreams, never giving up, and encouraging those around us to do the same!

cleemckenzie said...

You're so right. We are each of us unique, and making comparisons only set us off on a negative path:" I'm better than h/she is" is just as bad as "I'm not as good as h/she is."

Jeff Hargett said...

Nice. All very valid points. I especially like the way you painted the struggle in the 'overnight successes don't happen' reason.

Unknown said...

Loved your post. All of them are very valid points.

Penelope said...

Writing is a skill, like any other. It takes time to hone and polish that skill. Just as a welder or marksman or doctor must put in time learning their craft and even more years of practicing, so must the writer do the same.

Sherry Ellis said...

Great post - and so true! Thanks for the reminders!

Unknown said...

I know for me, the writing is the easiest part. Everything else is hard work. It's easy to compare yourself with others but I know we shouldn't. Great post.

Mel Kinnel (@TizMellyMel) said...

I surely have compared myself to other writers and definitely has put me in the dumps. Thanks for your advice!

Anonymous said...

This rings so true. I have to stop myself from comparing myself to other writers. It's depressing, plus I know I'm blowing some things out of proportion. Also, we all have different journeys and just because something isn't happening for me right now doesn't mean it never will.

Trisha said...

Great post, and so true!

Reading other people's books is a great exercise in expanding your knowledge, but you don't want it to backfire & get you all bogged down in self-doubt. :)

Meradeth Houston said...

Lovely post! I don't know how many times I've done this--and then tried to remind myself not to get hung up on someone else's success (though the giant advance for a first time writer deals will probably always irk me a little...). Love your points!!

Michelle Wallace said...

So true Lynda.
As the great Oscar Wilde pointed out: Be yourself, everyone else is taken.
Each writer is an individual with a unique journey... at the end of the day, just be the best writer that you can be!

emaginette said...

I'm always full of self doubts. What keeps me plugging along is the fact that other writer go through the same thing.

Thanks for another wonderful post.

Marta Szemik said...

A nice post! I do compare myself to others often, but also like having my own voice in my stories. So, while I learn from those more successful, I don't try to mimic what they've written but only what they've accomplished (in whatever minimal way).

Tammy Theriault said...

i don't think they write better than me, i like to just think they have a unique voice in their writing, and i look up to them for it! great post

Susan Fields said...

Great points! It always encourages me to hear about an unpublished author's manuscript that's so good they have agents fighting over it (you do hear those stories once in a while.) That proves to me that if you write a truly spectacular novel, it will get noticed, and that puts the control back in my hands, so I concentrate on writing that truly spectacular novel.

Carol Kilgore said...

Exactly. We each must follow our own path. Excellent post.

T. Roger Thomas said...

You make some excellent points in this post. I feel inspired to continue writing.

Carol Riggs said...

You are SO right. We can't see what goes on behind someone else's "instant" success. And besides...it doesn't matter. :)