Alex J Cavanaugh’s Worst Movies Ever Blogfest. Being the rebel that I am, I thought I’d put a spin on it and write up some tips writers can learn from bad movies.
1. Stories must be credible. ‘Unknown’ is a movie which proves this point. The story events stretched believability to the point where I wanted to throw popcorn at the screen.
2. A good ending is just as important as a good beginning. ‘9’ is a beautifully animated movie. The characters are wonderful, the art is visually splendid, and the concept is original. This movie, however, fell into my list of the worst movies of all time because the ending was terribad. It ruined the whole movie for me.
3. Avoid the cheese. Some might say ‘The Blob’ is a classic. I’m not one of them. This horror film comes across as cheesy from start to finish. It is in fact so cheesy that it makes a great comedy, though I don’t think the makers originally intended that.
4. Write outside the formula. ‘I Am Number 4’ is an example of formula gone bad. It is one thing writing inside a genre, another thing writing to formula. It seemed obvious to me that many scenes in this movie were simply included because they were what the makers believed fit into the teen formula. They had no other reason to be there.
5. Kill your darlings. This is a phrase many writers hear because it’s so important to remove any scenes or characters that don’t drive the story forward. In the case of ‘Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace’, the fans dictated the inclusion of characters and scenes to the detriment of the plot. (And don’t get me started about Jar Jar).
6. A good story takes time to write. ‘Your Highness’ gave me the impression not a lot of time went into the story or its humour. It was clear a lot of money went into the making of the film, but money, scenery, and special effects aren’t enough to make a good movie—or a good book.
7. Don’t set up false expectations when marketing. Because I heard ‘The Perfect Storm’ was based on a true story, I had certain expectations when I went to see it. Those expectations shattered when I realised the movie was based almost entirely on guesses. I felt cheated purely because of the way the movie had been marketed.
8. Strong dialogue is crucial. I love dragons and fantasy, but I fell asleep while watching ‘Eragon’. Not only was the acting wooden, but the dialogue was painfully weak.
9. Pace is just as important as plot. Some might disagree with me on the example I’m going to use for this point, but I wanted to poke my eyes out with a fork while watching ‘Eat Pray Love’. Even though I liked the concept of this movie, it felt painfully slow and self-indulgent because the pace wasn’t right.
10. Sequels should be consistent to the original. ‘Highlander 2’ is probably the worst movie sequel in all of history. It totally threw away all the ‘rules’ set up in the first movie thereby alienating it’s fan-base.
What would you consider to be the worst movie of all time?