Wednesday, April 4, 2018

Writing when Life gets Impossible #IWSG

I wasn't going to post today, but then I noticed this month's IWSG question and I felt it was important to share my thoughts so that maybe I can help someone else.

When your writing life is a bit cloudy or filled with rain, what do you do to dig down and keep on writing?

My life has been filled with rain and storms and thunder for the last two and a bit years. You see, my brother was diagnosed with Motor Neuron Disease (MND). Some of you might recognise it as ALS. There is no cure. It's probably the worst disease anyone can suffer through. It was why I moved up from Sydney to Brisbane--to be with David. Ultimately I became one of his carers. My writing took a massive hit. It's too easy to focus on the chaos, on the grief. Sometimes it's impossible to focus on anything but.

Over the two years, I learned how important it is to care for yourself especially when caring for another. A powerful and insistent part of who I am is my creative self. I needed an outlet and everything got harder if I didn't nurture that creative side. So on the days I could write, I wrote outlines and the beginnings of short stories. I wrote rubbish and mess and that was ok. I wrote hope. I created something new. On the days I struggled to dredge up something new, I edited. I pulled out my old manuscripts and read through them, discovering they weren't as bad as I first thought. As David's disease advanced, writing stopped altogether. I turned to photography because it required no brain power. I even joined Instagram! If you are interested in checking out my photos, you can find me @lyndaryoung

David passed away two weeks ago today. He is no longer suffering, but sheesh I miss him an awful lot. There is still rain in my life, but I can honor his memory by getting back to writing, by moving forward, by living a good and rich life. 
--
While you are checking out my photos on Instagram, also check out the IWSG on Instagram. We have an open photo prompt challenge there.

34 comments:

  1. Lynda, I can't imagine the pain or how much you sacrificed. You did it out of love though. That's a beautiful thing. My prayers continue to go out to you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. A touching post, Lynda. Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am so very sorry.

    Your photos these past few months have been beautiful. They've expressed what you couldn't.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Your brother was lucky to have you in his life. Keeping you in my thoughts.

    Ellen | http://thecynicalsailor.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am so very sorry for the loss and heartache you are going through with the loss of your brother. Having been a caregiver to my husband our whole life together, I know how that can affect writing and everything else in life. I admire you for getting right back into your writing again.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Lynda, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Please take care of yourself....

    ReplyDelete
  7. No words. I am so sorry for your loss which hardly cover it. May God bless and keep you close. Thank you for the inspiring post even in your time of loss. HUGS & Prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh Lynda, my heart goes out to you. I wish you peace through this season, and much healing. My father passed away from cancer, and I was one of those who helped care for him near the end. It's amazing how draining it is to be a care taker, and good on you for taking the time away that you needed. Sending cheese and sunshine!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Lynda, I am so sorry for your loss. I know it hurst even more after such a long period of care taking. He was so lucky to have you. How much harder his condition would have been without you. You were wise to nurture your spirit and your writing during that time. I hope you can get back to your projects in due course, benefiting from the time you took to make his care a priority. You did the right thing.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm sorry for your loss. He must have been very grateful to have you close by. He was lucky to have you.

    Anna from elements of emaginette

    ReplyDelete
  11. These past few years with my mom and now my husband, I've learned a lot about caregiving. I've adopted the airline instructions as my mantra: "Put on you oxygen mask first." It's the only way to be there for those who need you. I'm sure your feelings about David are at odds: happy he's no longer suffering, so sad to not have him in your life anymore. This is the hard part about loving someone, isn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  12. So sorry for your loss. Sending prayers and hugs your way:)

    ReplyDelete
  13. So very sorry to hear about your brother. One of my cousins has this awful disease. Sending prayers and healing thoughts your way.

    ReplyDelete
  14. What can I say but, Amen. Right now I am taking care of a dear friend and my hubby who is also terminally ill with a disease. No, it's not easy. Yes, writing keeps me going. My singing too. I know so well where you are at. Thanks for the encouraging post.
    Shalom aleichem,
    Pat G @ EverythingMustChange

    ReplyDelete
  15. Lynda, I am so sorry for your loss. But as you say, he is no longer suffering. I totally understand where you are coming from, since I had a similar experience with my Dad. It was only for three months, but it was the LONGEST three months of my life... he had pancreatic cancer.

    I wasn't writing then, but I did have to put my life on hold. Life does and often gets in the way of our writing, but I agree that we MUST nurture our creativity or we will greatly suffer physically. I am proof of that as well.... These past two years life and stress has gotten to me and my health is not great. But luckily it is nothing terminal, just getting back into eating right, exercising, and focusing on the positive. Once I drop the weight I put on, the blood pressure and arthritis will tapper off. I had before. I just need to always be aware ...

    All the best with your new projects and life will renew itself again in your creativity.....

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hugs and much sympathy to you for your loss. I'm so glad you kept your creative outlets during the last 2 years, and I hope you enjoy Instagram.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Lynda, I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for finding the strength and time to share this important life message with us. I wish you peace and healing, and know you will find both in your writing.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Sorry for your loss. One horrible disease indeed.

    Have to keep going indeed. And yeah, we also have to look after ourselves along the way.

    ReplyDelete
  19. SO sorry for your loss :( Sending lots of love. Definitely keep nurturing yourself. It will be a process to move forward, but it will happen. And your writing will continue.

    Peace and love

    ReplyDelete
  20. I am so, so sorry for your loss. Brothers are special people. I've lost friends to that terrible disease. Many thoughts and prayers being sent your way.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I can't imagine losing a brother. I have four of them and they are all very dear to me. I bet your brother was just as amazing and I'm sorry you had to see him suffer so much and then lose him. It was very loving of you to care for him even at the cost of your writing time. Writing something beautiful( like this post even) sounds like the perfect way to honor his memory.

    ReplyDelete
  22. So sorry for your loss! Prayers for you and your family. Thankfully, he isn't suffering anymore. Great post today.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sending my prayers and warm thoughts your way.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I am so sorry, Lynda. I lost my brother, too. And not a day goes by that I don't miss him. He will always be alive in my heart. All best to you, my dear.
    http://victoriamarielees.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  25. My heart breaks for you and your family, Lynda, but David's suffering is at an end. It's so hard for those of you left behind. I'm just so thrilled you found a creative outlet in Instagram. It's a great place to hang out, with none of the pressure of facebook.

    You know I'm here to support you in any way possible. I'll be returning to Brisbane next Monday. I'm spending every day of the week writing. Perhaps we can catch up, unless you've already taken that cruise!

    Much love,
    Denise x

    ReplyDelete
  26. Sorry to hear about your brother, my condolences

    ReplyDelete
  27. Sorry to hear of your loss Lynda. I enjoy your photos on Instagram and will check out ISWG on instagram too. Yes, I find photography helpful too as it seems to really centre me so I can write better, but do have to make way more time to write.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Sorry to hear of your struggles and your loss. I haven't studied photography, but I too find it comforting. I like taking pictures. I'm glad you're letting this experience motivate you in your writing, as a way to honor your brother. Thanks for sharing your story.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your brother.

    ReplyDelete
  30. So sorry to hear about your brother. I can imagine how much you miss him. Glad you were able to move closer to him and he was lucky to have you caring for him. Sending you lots of hugs!

    Thanks for sharing your ideas with us. Looking forward to checking out your Instagram page.
    ~Jess

    ReplyDelete
  31. Oh say it ain't so, Lynda. I offer my condolences to you and your loved ones. I don't know what to say.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wish I could 'say it ain't so' but such is life. You said plenty. Thank you so much.

      Delete
  32. I'm sorry you had to go through that Lynda. I can imagine how hard it must have been for you having been through similar experiences, though not with anyone as close as a sibling. I'm glad you came through it okay and are looking after yourself.

    ReplyDelete

I'd love to hear your opinion. Thanks for leaving a comment.