That Semicolon is Killing Me #IWSG

A sign at the local coffee shop had me giggling and wincing at the same time. It read:

Dear Customers;

EFTPOS is temporarily unavailable.

Sorry for the convenience

The owners of the shop may have heard my guffaw because, not a minute later, the sign was taken down and a new one put up. Convenience was changed to inconvenience. But the semicolon remained. It made me squirm as if I had a tick in my eye.

Do you have trouble ignoring the bad grammar or punctuation around you? Do you correct presenters on TV shows, rewrite sentences while reading published books, chuckle at dodgy sentence structure on goods? Have you influenced your non-writing family member enough that he or she also corrects the bad grammar?

If you’ve said yes to any of these questions, then I have bad news for you: You are cursed. Yes, cursed. There’s no going back to being blissfully unaware of typos, comma splices, or dangling modifiers. You are doomed to annoy your friends (or bite your tongue a lot), fated to spend hours nit-picking over your work, ruined for the rest of your literary life.

The good news is, you’ve also been blessed. Why? Because you are a writer, and being a writer is the best thing in the world. Go on, you can admit it. It’s safe here.

What are some of the funniest mistakes you’ve made or seen? How do you survive the errors everywhere?

--

This post was written for the IWSG Group. We post on the first Wednesday of the month. Sign up is HERE.

I’m posting early because I wanted to remind everyone about the impending deadline for The Insecure Writer’s Support Group Guide to Publishing and Beyond. It’s chugging toward us at a rapid pace. Not the book, but the deadline for submissions, which is October 2nd. We’re looking for articles on writing, publishing and marketing. For the guidelines, click HERE.

While we prefer email submissions, TheIWSG[at]gmail[dot]com, if you are submitting via your blog, then make sure to use the book sign up sheet so we don't miss your awesome work.

Automated Online Proofreaders: Are They Worth It?

For those of you who read one of my previous posts (found here), at the end I vented some frustration after attempting to gain access to a seven day free trial of the online proofreader, Grammarly. I had to give my credit card details. Like that was going to happen. Well, the makers of Grammarly contacted me and gave me two weeks risk-free access. My confidence in their program rose. So I gave it a go.

The layout is clean and easy to understand. I didn't need to read long instructions to know how to get started. Win.

For some reason, the copy/paste function to get the text into the program wasn't working. Not being technical, I have no idea why. Perhaps it was my browser? However, I also had the option to upload my text, or drag the text file into the program. Easy. Another win.

There are a number of levels of checking the program can go through. The default is General and is rather formal, advising me to avoid my casual use of personal pronouns and contractions. The levels also included Academic, Business, Technical, Creative, and Casual. Casual is a far more forgiving setting and even let me get away with fragmented sentences. Woot.

I can't help comparing Grammarly to Microsoft Word's grammar checker, which has become somewhat intelligent. Word picks up many foobahs, even many correctly spelt words in incorrect places. However, it didn't pick up a mistake I'd made in a previous post. I'd written: World War Z, staring Brad Pitt. Grammarly picked up 'staring' and gave me a few suggestions to replace it, with 'starring' at the top of the list. Impressive. After a quick test, Grammarly is also better at picking up comma placement mistakes than Word.

Is Grammarly infallible? No. It gave me a few suggestions that were incorrect. For example, I'd written in this post: Weigh it, understand where it's coming from… and Grammarly tried to tell me the pronoun 'it' doesn't agree with the verb 'understand'. It took me a while to work out that Grammarly thought I was saying something like, 'It understand where it's coming from'. Grammarly failed to read my sentence properly.

Grammarly will also pick up some things it's simply programmed to pick up. For example, I used 'your' in a sentence and Grammarly suggested I may need to change it to 'you're'. This lack of intelligence became a bit of a time waster as I had to sort through them all.

Wishlist

• I think I'd like to see Grammarly use more often an example of my incorrect sentences written correctly. It does this only sometimes. 
• I'd also like an option to adjust what Grammarly looks for, rather than having to use their premade settings. For example, I'd like it to ignore my fragmented sentences, but pick up passive voice. While there is an ignore button, it will only ignore each instance of a 'mistake' it's picked up. If I want to ignore every instance of that same mistake, I have to use a dropdown list which is an extra click. This seems a little silly when there's plenty of room for an 'ignore all' button next to the 'ignore' button. Time is short and I don't want to be wasting it sorting through all the rules.
• Grammarly didn't recognise that I had two different spellings of the word 'colour' in the same paragraph. I used both the American spelling and the British, so I think I'd also like to see a setting added which specifies which English you want checked.

From Grammarly: Grammarly is best used as a "second set of eyes" for your writing as opposed to a replacement for a professional proofreader. I'd agree with that assessment.

So overall, are automated online proofreading tools worth it?

• I might have some skill with editing other people's work, but I'm often blind to my own mistakes, so that 'second set of eyes' is kinda handy.
• They are mighty expensive for an online service but cheaper than a professional editor. Note, Grammarly is cheaper than AutoCrit. 
• They can be used as a learning tool for someone who doesn't feel confident with all those tricksy grammar rules. If this is done, then I'd advise using an official grammar guide along with the online tool, just to make sure those automated responses are correct.
• As indicated in my previous point, they do take up a lot of extra time because of the need to sort through all the suggestions which aren't always correct.
• It comes down to your individual needs. I think they are worth it if you're writing lots of articles regularly, or pieces like query letters where correct grammar is essential.

Have you ever used an automated online proofreading tool? Would you?

Edit: Grammarly recently (March 2019) tried spamming my blog with their advertising. I wasn't impressed. Previously they also tried to get me to remove this review.

Why Your Writing will Never be Perfect

Have you ever spent hours on a single paragraph, or pulled your hair out while trying to get that sentence just right? When I first started writing I would spend months on a chapter before I could move on to the next. Months! That's why it took me nine years to complete my first novel. While I might write that first draft a lot faster now, I still spend a long time adjusting, rewriting, editing, tweaking. While this is normal, and in fact should take up most of our novel writing time, there is a limit. As writers, I think it's important to know we can't reach perfection, and here's why:

1. Because we're human. To be human is to change and grow and that's reflected in our writing. We're constantly growing not only as people, but as writers as well. If we're doing it right, then we're continually learning the craft, and developing our style. This doesn't change. May we never stop pushing ourselves to do better and be better. Consequently, this means what we wrote six months ago will be very different to what we'll write today, or six months from now.

2. Because it's how we're trained. Even if our writing approaches close-to-perfect, we have this in-built need to search for what might be wrong with it. Even when I read a standard novel, I still edit it in my head. I can't help it. Sometimes I can switch the inner editor off and simply enjoy the story, but it's a conscious decision not to edit.

3. Because perfection is not a constant. Writers are moody creatures. One day we'll love our work and the next we'll think the same piece is damp dog with fleas. There's no getting out of it. On those doggy days we just have to be kind to ourselves … and the dog.

4. Because perfection takes too long. Yes it's important to strive for the best you can do, but if you'd like to get published this decade, then you need to make the decision to stop tweaking and start sending the manuscript out into the big wide world.

5. Because a great story is what matters. If your story is a rehash of everything that's gone before, then no amount of perfection will save it. If your story is unique and has that special spark, then imperfections won't be what holds it back.

6. Because we can't please everyone—not even ourselves. As I said before, all we can do is our best. By that I don't mean pick up a that-will-do attitude. Striving for perfection is still important, crucial even. We still need to send our work out to critique partners, check our grammar, make sure there are no glaring plot holes. We just need to accept that absolute perfection is unattainable.

Do you have trouble letting a piece go for fear it's not perfect? How do you decide when your manuscript is ready?

Photo: None of my photos fit for this post, so I went for one I took in the port of Vila, Vanuatu, last year. Check out those beautiful waters! No colour adjustment. That’s how they appear!

Note: Last week I received an email offering me a $30 Amazon gift voucher if I’d let Grammarly sponsor my next post. I checked out their website and thought, “Cool! Book money!” All they wanted me to do was place at the top of my post, “I used Grammarly to grammar check this post, because… [fill in the blank with something clever for a chance to win a $1000 gift voucher]”. I’m the first to admit I’m a wary soul when it comes to the intertubes but this sounded like a good deal. I wrote my post and went to their website to run a grammar check of my words. 

As the check ticked off a bunch of grammar rules, a little graphic, which is designed to scare you, placed little red crosses on flipping pages. Oh noes, it’s picked up some errors! When I waited for the results, they didn’t come through. Instead I got a list of how many faults it had picked up. 44 errors! Okay, fine. Where are these errors? Oh I need to officially sign up for the 7 day free trial! Siiiiigh. Annoying, but fine. So I started filling in the three stage form only to discover that I had to give them my credit card details on the final form to get the 'free' trial. I could, of course, cancel at any time. 

Why would I give my credit card details for something I’ve never seen in action? Is it so hard to give me a real free trial? This screamed dodgy as a dodgy screw in dodge town. Now, this service could be legit, and if I ever find out for sure (without risking my credit card details) I’ll be more than happy to share here. Seems to me, if it is legit, then surely they’d have more faith in their product to offer a genuine, risk-free trial?

Update--Tuesday 25th June: The people at Grammarly have kindly given me a two week risk-free trial of their editing program. Looks like they do have faith in their product after all. We'll see how it goes. 

Update, March 2019: Grammarly tried spamming my blog with their advertising. I wasn't impressed. Previously they also tried to get me to remove the above and my review. 

How to Know when to Break the Rules

First and foremost, to know when to break the rules of writing we must first learn the rules of writing. If the thought of all that grammatical gobbledegook makes your brain leak out of your ears, get over it and learn it anyway. You want to be a skilled writer, don’t you?

Secondly, we have to be sure to break a rule for the right reason. If we break it out of ignorance, laziness, or the elusive search for cool, then we should think again. There’s no point breaking a rule for the sake of it, or because it’s all the rage. There has to be a valid reason. Below I’ve listed a few possible reasons to break the rules:

For Clarity
The writing rules of grammar and punctuation are put into place to clarify meaning. Without them sentences often become ambiguous. For example: ‘Let’s eat Dezmond.’ Without a comma before Dezmond, that sentence means we want to eat the poor guy. Of course, if we gain more clarity by breaking a rule, then we can break it.

For Emphasis
A broken rule will often stand out in text and emphasise a point we might want to make. Be careful, however. Overuse of broken rules will quickly lose any impact we hoped to achieve.

For the Rhythm
For the sake of the music of our prose, it’s good to break a few rules. For example: A series of fractured sentences create a clipped, sharp rhythm which can add a certain agitated vibe to the prose.

For the Art
When I worked in a bookshop I had so many returns on one particular book because the readers misunderstood the artistic opening. The book started after twelve blank pages and, on the thirteenth, the first word was a lower case ‘and’. People thought the book had been misprinted. The author took a risk. Personally I thought it was genius.

Which rules do you like to break? Which rules do you break too often?

Note: This post is part of the A-Z Challenge. To learn more about the challenge click the image on my sidebar.

Reminder: I’ve entered my blog into the People’s Choice Award as part of the Sydney Writers’ Centre Best Australian Blogs Award 2011. If you haven’t already, please vote for my blog here. It is listed under W.I.P It: A Writer’s Journey -- Lynda Young.

Contractions – Go with the Flow

Part of the real skill behind good writing is to make it look easy. And it looks easy when it flows off the tongue with a sweet sounding rhythm that’s effortless to understand. So what is one way we can achieve this flow?

We use contractions. A contraction is two words turned into one. For example: ‘can not’ becomes can’t; ‘do not’ becomes don’t; ‘you are’ becomes you’re.

Written contractions work because they reflect speech which is the most common way we communicate with each other. It’s a natural sound we hear every day and so we’re comfortable with the shortened rhythms. When we write like we speak, we give the reader a familiar ground to visit our stories. They aren’t distracted by the writing.

If we decide to write every word in full, then our writing begins to sound stilted. We force the readers to stumble or pause because it’s not a familiar rhythm. Because of this the piece often gains an air of pompousness.

If you don’t want a natural flow to your writing, or you want to achieve a certain level of formality, then go for it. The full words work well in any formal document. You could have a character who speaks without contractions, but they will sound robotic – much like Data in the Star Trek Next Gen series. Sometimes it works, but you’ll find mostly it doesn’t.

Do you use all the common contractions all of the time? Do you mix it up? Or do you think too many contractions make a piece too informal?

Uses of the Passive Voice

One of the first rules we learn as writers is to avoid the passive voice in our prose. It is the active voice that is the gem of fiction writing. The active voice charges our prose with vitality and immediacy. The passive voice can sound bland by comparison. But there is no need to run screaming from the passive voice. It has its uses.

The passive voice can sound more authoritive and less demanding. For example: “Swimming is not allowed here.” This passive voice is a statement of fact and gains authority because of the lack of emotion attached. By comparison: “You must not swim here.” This active voice adds a demanding tone. It might work for a mother scolding her child, but if that’s not the tone you want to achieve, then the passive might be your answer.

The passive voice changes the emphasis in a sentence. For example, “1000 plastic balls are needed to fill the pit.” The emphasis here is on the number of plastic balls. Compare with, “The pit needs 1000 plastic balls to fill it.” The pit is the emphasis in this active sentence.

The passive voice de-emphasises the cause of the action. For example, “Isabella was attacked at midnight.” We may not wish to reveal who attacked poor Isabella. Sometimes we wish to emphasise the action more than the person behind the action. For example, “The cure for the common cold was discovered in 2051.” The name of the person behind the discovery may not be important to your story.

The passive voice hides blame. For example: “The totals were placed in the wrong column.”

Can you think of other examples of acceptable use of the passive voice? Do you try to avoid all instances of the passive voice? What are some things you look for when deciding to use a passive voice?

The Not so Humble Verb

The verb is a powerful tool when a writer knows how to wield it. It is the action word of the sentence. It strives, it yearns, it strikes, it sings. Verbs bring our sentences alive.

So why settle for a bland verb? Why not use the magical verbs, the verbs that conjure strong images in the readers mind and bring a little excitement into our sentences?

Examples:
She ran. (How did she run?) She shot, galloped, jogged, raced.
He walked. (How did he walk?) He ambled, strolled, hiked, meandered.
See how the above examples create a sharper image of the character’s action?

Other things to consider:
Are too many of your verbs passive? I was being taught to play piano.
Do you use too many ‘is’, ‘was’, ‘were’? ‘The coffee cup was on the bench’ – as opposed to, ‘The coffee cup sat on the bench’.

There are so many more examples. I know some people collect verbs as a thesaurus collects synonyms. Do you collect verbs? Do you have some favourite verbs you like to use?

Adverbs: the Scourge of Prose

The heavy-handed use of adverbs is the beginner’s writing crutch. When seeking emphasis, it’s easy to slip up and throw in an adverb. The end result is weakened text.

Adverbs are really bad.
Adverbs are bad.

The second sentence of the above example is stronger without the adverb.

Adverbs add weight and length to writing which should be short and tight. The use of adverbs show a lack of confidence and they often restate the obvious:

He ran quickly.

Running is a quick motion. If you want to emphasise the quickness then it would be better to say: ‘He bolted’, or ‘He dashed’. This puts a striking image in the reader’s mind and makes the writing more interesting.

She was very small.
She was tiny.
She was so small she was mistaken for an M&M.

This is not to say adverbs can’t be used at all. Just be sure when you do choose to use them.

Can you think of any amusing examples of the poor use of adverbs?